last sunday at St. John Mary Vianney's

call me a hypocrite, i won't be offended.

so i pray when i feel like it, and when i feel the need to side with science, i criticize the hypocrisy of certain Catholic. this is me, a proud Catholic. and by Catholic, i mean 'universal'. this is one thing my high school teacher taught that had sense.

going back to last sunday, so there i was, with  my mom, about to go up the tiny church on a man-made hill. well, the church was on the second floor of the building. church-goers had to climb the steep steps. the church is in a community well-known for its crime rate and infamous for being a deviant's paradise.

i was not enthusiastic to be there. heck, this is where people would brush past you and break your ribcage and not apologize. i convinced myself that i was there for the spiritual experience, but with that kind of crowd, i felt it was impossible to feel holy or at least spiritual.

there were kids who, seeing that the place was cramped with people, still snaked their way from one corner to the farthest point possible.  there was this woman who would pass stuff like handheld fans and misalettes to her son and wipe my mother's and my face in the process with those objects. rude!

it didn't feel like it was a big event, as the priest, in between crucial points in the mass, would say something like: all together, let us read antiphony 1. antiphony 1.
like in a rehearsal.

there also were parts where people raise their hands and sway it to the music.
how so very unoriginal, i thought.  they  must have copied this from pit senyor (Sto. Nino festival in Cebu City).

and in the part where people came up the stage to recount the miracles of St. John May Vianney, there was this woman, a church organizer at that, who challenged the saint. come on! how dare she. what a hypocrite!  she said she asked St.John to perform a miracle. the imposed miracle did happen. what's wrong with that woman??

no miracle here yet.

but for no reason, when that woman told us how St. John Mary Vianney, as an old priest, loved children, that really got me. i was reminded of my grandparents and how they performed miracles for me. i imposed upon them to perform miracles form me. man, was i a brat. i missed lolo and lolo.

i could hardly breathe, i had to keep myself from blinking, else, i've niagara falls on my face.

i felt humbled, remembering lolo and lola and how St. John Mary Vianney could've been like them.

so there i realized, i was in that church to commemorate the life of a good person, and not to play Ms. Minchin to ill-mannered church-goers.

on the maguindanao massacre

the sitch is that there are two feuding political families wanting to both become dynasties, a place far from the nosy denizens of the metropolis, and that big virtue they call greed and the fact that national elections is coming. the ultimate end is to accumulate wealth for the elections, win the elections, and accumulate more money after the elections.

i don't know which university, school of thought or school of hard-knocks taught them, some people actually think wealth and power justifies one's existence. hence, the chasm every politician gets into as soon as he decides running for office. hence, the need to employ every available means to achieve wealth and power. means include killing people who should be out of the way, including and most specially nosy journalists who are after the truth.

not unknown to the world is the recent massacre of journalists in maguindanao, mindanao. this rocked the world and threatened all media practicioners. more than 12 journalists were found slaughtered unjustifiably. and for what reason? the feud between two families involved in local politics. what was the motive? still unknown.

still, the main query is if there is a need to waste all those lives? need they take the mother, brother, father, sister, friend, son and daughter of some other person? did they have to "liquidate" all of them?

i was told that a majority of the possible accused might have believed in the idea that a person's existence on earth is temporary and that it is essential to secure a good afterlife.

yeah, so? they had no right to take somebody else's life. they're not GOD! and how are they supposed to have a good afterlife if here on earth, they have foregone all possible ways to be kind and worthy of an afterlife?

what is wrong with them?

ampatuan killings

how dare they! whoever they may be, what got into them? the murderers, i meant.

if i were a conspiracy junky, i'd say the governemnt staged this ambush and have a justification to alarm the citizenry and declare a state of emergency. man, will i distrust the governement for eternity.

i shake my head in disgust. and i'm not even a conspiracy junky.

KORIMAwR in the palace

i don't even know what a kurimaw is. it's probably one of those mythical characters.

it's as unknown to me as a non-friend's best kept secret. i was referring to the kurimaw.

as for KORIMAR, man, do i know a lot. i mean, based on the fact that i have seen all airings of korina sanchez' and senator mar roxas' wedding, i think i have sufficiently stuffed myself with the mush and awe and love and sincerity in mar's eyes and korina's long walk down the aisle (pun not intended).

mar looked like a man-boy about to hurl in glee coz he'll be standing next to his long-time crush. korina, on the other hand sppeared to be thinking only of herself. fine, i'll cut her some slack. she's the bride, it's her wedding day and she's supposed to be the star. supposedly. it's mar's wedding, too, you know.

mar seemed happy. his smile was genuine. i think i have a crush on him. man, is this gay. to hell with you, homophobes!

i was wondering, if mar were the standard bearer of his party, i'd vote for him coz i'd know he'd espouse my interests: a new anti-vawc law ( it becomes ANTI VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN, CHILDREN AND DISCRIMINATED GAYS), more dialogue with our ally-states, abolish the mmda, more budget allocation for education, abolish the pork barrel and impose executive orders that would instill, if not maintain, the integrity of the three branches of government.

as for his spouse, i'm in the dark as to what kind of first lady she would be.

today in baclaran

i go to church to pray. when i don't feel like praying and i happen to be in church, i meditate or keep quiet or not make any noise.

today, i felt like going to church. i was minutes late and had no chance to be seated. the pews were filled to the brim. i bet even those who came in at the time the priest walked towards the altar weren't even able to get seats.

so there i was, cramped between a public servant and one guy who didn't get the memo that mullet is out. okay fine. i would've stopped with the criticism if only this did not happen:

Catholics would know the parts of the mass. for the benefit of those who have no idea what i am talking about, i would like you to be informed of that when the churchgoers fall in line for the communion. background music is played to allow churgoers to meditate or receive the host prayerfully. it is supposed to be a solemn moment, heck, the entire mass is supposed to be solemn.

but no, this guy in the mullet, thinking that just because no one is speaking means that the lull is a gap in the mass, pulls out his phone and starts talking on the phone. he wanted to appear somebody important by talking louder and making the entire conversation audible. darn it! at that moment, i wasn't able to hear myself think. i told myself to let this slide and give the guy a break. besides, i was there to add good karma points to my record. i thought the call was urgent and that it wouldn't take long, as mullet man should have known that what he was doing was inappropriate. this went on for a few more minutes.

i couldn't take it, so i poked him with my umbrella and said loudly (with the obvious intention of humiliating him), "excuse me, you are in a church, not in a phonebooth. respect us who are praying!"

he said his goodbye and told the person he was talking to that the mass was to proceed. he kinda omitted the part that he was bugging those around him.

ay yay yay! mullet men!

for jacko

dear jacko,

i heard you were and still are famous. good for you. i just saw my blog on mr. francis magalona and i thought, let's say something for mr. mj.

thing is, there's only one song that come's to mind and it has nothing to do with the moonwalk. MAN IN THE MIRROR wrings my poor heart. i love that song.
i'm sorry mr. jackson, unlike mr. francism, you weren't there for me. your songs didn't inspire me coz they were just so damn commercial. no heart. can't relate to anything you said. i'm sorry i can't give you much praise coz you lived in pretension, you actually changed the color of your skin, i can't respect you for that. that was a blatant disrespect of your race. you inspired your fans to embrace superficiality.

oh jacko...

morning/evening prayer

we all know that

Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom is love, commits me here, etc.

is a morning prayer.

what would you do if you see someone teaching it to his/her kid as an evening prayer?
would you confront the parent and tell him/her it's wrong?
or would you rather not budge, besides it's not your kid?